On my long evening walk, I had a flash of startling clarity.
I realized that it took guts to be happy, contented, satisfied.
And to accept it to oneself.
Probably because it is so uncommon, a person who is happy with him/herself is an oddity.
And so, the rest of his or her circle of friends, acquaintances and associates try to make that obvious – and try to drag them back down into the pit of smoldering dissatisfaction that seems to be the norm for many.
It’s hard enough to be happy and content. First, it demands knowledge of what you really want. Then, it requires understanding that you have it – and deserve it.
Because this is so tenuous and unsure, it becomes easy for anyone to question, criticize and ultimately unravel the thin cocoon of happiness you weave around yourself… unless you are bold, confident and even – to a point – arrogant.
Earlier today, I had a conversation with a friend. He was pointing out ways I could do better with my efforts to fund heart surgeries for children. Each involved doing something that would involve a lot of time and effort, for little return.
I smilingly turned down his suggestions, managing not to offend him… while he subtly seemed to indicate I was leaving many children uncared for by doing so.
Thinking back to 10 years ago, when similar behavior might have made me defensive, and therefore abusive and angry, I feel a small thrill of satisfaction at my emotional development over the years.
After all, isn’t that what growing up is all about?