By a strange twist of circumstances, I watched a Tamil film twice - in a week!

It may seem incongruous for a group of 40-somethings to queue up for a movie about teen romance... but just as lopsided as a dad going to the same picture with his pre-teen daughter! Yet both experiences were enjoyable, and provided a nice perspective, in contrast to each other.

Looking back, it seems to me that the theme of 'love in college' might appeal most to those who can see it as irreverent, casual and even funny - as only those long past their University days can, or those yet to enter it.

While with the first group, I felt a brief flashback to a halcyon period in every adult's life - the carefree days of teen-age. To a time when we all lived and learned for ourselves, in a random, rambling, often bungled-up way, many of the same things we'd have learned so much more efficiently (and effectively)... if only we'd been capable of listening to our elders and studying their example.

The second time around, I vicariously experienced the thrill of how a future filled with amorous interludes and dreamy dates might be, with its promise of fairy tale love stories and maudlin escapades... and watched in semi-amazement at how incredibly similar the areas that sounded humorous and 'over the top' to us 'oldies' were to the 'youngster' as well.

(I'll bet my boots that a teen audience, caught up in the angst of unrequited love, would have glared or cursed at our laughing at such "serious matters" - and that's as it should be.)

The film displays undergrads in a series of different relationships - hopelessly seeing a partner, or flitting through a series of them; finding love only to lose it, or to later get it back; broken engagements, and broken hearts. And it does it all in a flippant yet sensitive way, instead of striving hard to stuff heavy philosophy down the throat of an audience. That's perhaps why I enjoyed "Kadhalil Sodhapuvadu Yeppadi" so much.

A week later, I may be hard-pressed to recall any dialog or scene from the film. But I suspect the message that will linger around in the recesses of my memory for a long time will be the important one.

That relationships are messy. We all muddle our way through them. The key is to keep the ones that matter most to us - by accepting those special people in our lives, exactly the way they are... rather than how we would have them be.

That's how the illusion of "made for each other" relationships can get concretized into a less transient reality.

KSY delivers this wisdom in a light-hearted, enjoyable package. Well worth a watch - or, dare I say, even two?!

I mean really, deeply grateful for everything you are, have, and can be?

Good for you if you answered "Yes".

I wake up every morning with a small prayer of gratitude - because I'm alive.

This isn't an accident or whim. In my professional life as a pediatric heart surgeon, I treat children - and unfortunately, some of them will not live many years. It is natural for me to feel grateful about being alive, because already I've lived for much longer than they will.

Each time I see my little girl's smiling face, I feel a deep sense of gratitude - that I have a daughter, a healthy, happy young lady.

It's the same when I think about being married to a lovely young woman for 10 years, knowing 3 of my grandparents well (CC Chapman reminded me of how precious this was), having my parents with me until I was forty, working at something I have loved with a passion since childhood (heart surgery) and running a non-profit that gives to less privileged families than my own.

But these are the BIG things.

It's easier to feel grateful about them. What's often forgotten - and I try my best not to forget - are the small things.

Like having 2 hands and 10 fingers - a reminder like the 'Left Thumb Blogger' helps, she's an awesome inspiration to anyone making excuses for not doing anything!

Or...

Like having a pet to love and spend time with - a feeling thatloss made me acutely aware of recently.

And...

Like being able to take a walk in the woods, or spend 2 hours reading an online column, or take off on a holiday putting everything else on hold - because my online business runs practically on auto-pilot.

There are many, many more 'little' things I will be eternally grateful for - because they make my life so much more fun, full and fruitful.

Surprisingly, when I shifted mindset from being critical and complaining about most things, and became more appreciative, thankful and respectful of all I've got, life itself became a lot more interesting and fulfilling.

How about you? Are you grateful about the things you have? Or resentful you don't have more? Or both?

I was in a restaurant, holding a steaming mug of hot java. With me were two friends. One I've known for 30 years. The other I'd just met 30 minutes back.

The social dance was on. We explored vital questions. Who are you and who do you know? What do you do, and why?

The conversation drifted to my writing, and my work with heart kids. I (briefly) explained how I create and sell infoproducts, using a part of the profits to sponsor life-saving heart surgery for children with congenital heart disease.

My new friend asked:

"Why do you do it? I mean, leave alone 'feeling good'. Why else? What do you get from it?"

I picked up my coffee, and sat for a while in silence. I drank slowly, thoughtfully... and wondered how to answer the question. Then I replied the way I always do:

"Because I can."

My modest needs are met from passive income sources that I worked hard to put in place. This frees me now to focus on things I want to do. And in the line of my professional work, I come across families without any alternatives to save their little kids with potentially fatal heart birth defects. I try to help them.

"Because I want to. And enjoy it."

From the look on his face, I could see he wasn't entirely convinced. And paradoxically, his doubt and uncertainty conveyed itself to me. On the drive back home, I kept returning to the question.

For a week later, I kept thinking about it.

Why do I do it?

There's possibly a selfish drive behind my apparent altruism, a sublimated craving for recognition and acclaim. Or perhaps another motive is at play. But at most, it's only an additional driver.

By itself, it may keep me going awhile.

But not for so long.

I've done this for 10 years. I'll be doing it for another twenty. Or longer.

And not against these overwhelming odds.

I've overcome some major challenges - like this one. For each, there are dozens of smaller crises, just as frustrating and depressing.

Eventually, I kept coming back to the wise and inspirational words of my friend, mentor and role model, Frank McKinney, founder of 'The Caring House' project, who is fond of reminding us that:

"Of those to whom much is given, much is expected."

I've always believed that much has been given to me. Proximity to suffering humanity in my role as a doctor, and good fortune to retain perspective on the frailty and uncertainty of our earthly existence have both combined to make me insanely grateful for thousands of little things that many take for granted, or even bemoan.

And then, I read an amazing blog by Derek Sivers. Founder of "CD Baby". Author. Speaker. Musician. Philanthropist. Incredible human being.

He sold his company for $22 million - which he donated to charity!

In a remarkably short blog post, he explained why... and gave me the insight I'd been searching for all week long. (Many others probably felt that way, judging by the 1250+ comments on it!)

"It's not that I'm altruistic. I'm sacrificing nothing. I've just learned what makes me happy. And doing it this way made me the happiest."

Bingo!

I too am sacrificing nothing. In fact, I'm pursuing my twin dreams - of practicing a technically challenging specialty (pediatric heart surgery) while helping desperately needy families beat a killer health condition (congenital heart disease).

It makes me happy. Wildly, insanely happy. It makes my heart sing. It lends deep purpose and meaning to all that I do. It gets me out of bed, eager and excited about my day.

THAT'S why I do it.

Because I WANT to.

The best part of Derek's post comes in his last line:

"But most of all, I get the constant priceless reminder that I have enough."

Wow! How powerful is that?! And true.

Unless you personally feel you have "enough", it's never easy to give to someone else.

Anxiety and stress kick in. Defences build up. Logic masks emotion.

And we put our noses back to the grindstone, trying to get "enough" for ourselves.

My work is a constant reminder TO MYSELF that I'm blessed with enough.

Yes, THAT'S why I do it.

Because I can.

Because I have enough.

.

(Image credit dhammza)